There are certain patterns in every relationship that lead to its end. These behaviors can be differentiated from the behaviors followed in long-lasting relationships. The problem with short-lived relationships is that couples ten to drift to a fantasy land where it’s all sunshine and rainbows. They forget that true love is more than just an emotion, it’s a struggle.
Love always has been fickle, leaving scars and marks, keeping its true identity a mystery because nature wants such a majestic emotion to be more compelling. That’s the whole beauty of true love; it’s earned and found rather than just felt.
Some behaviors can ruin a relationship and they need to be avoided at all costs. I will point them out and tell you their solutions as well.
Making mountain out of a molehill
At the start of every relationship, people tend to be tolerant. However, with time, this behavior is bound to change. In short-lived relationships, couples tend to become angrier and more irritated at minor arguments with time.
The best way to handle an argument if you want a long-lasting relationship is to keep calm in situations like this. You have to eradicate the element of ego from your personality. If you are being treated unfairly, it’s time to sit down and have a talk with your partner. You have to clear the air instead of fighting for hours and making matters worse.
Sometimes, things get out of hand and an argument can slowly transform into a severe altercation. At times like that, it is better to sit down and communicate instead of shutting each other out.
A simple apology can save your relationship, at times.
There will be times when you will have to take one for your relationship and there’s no shame in that. If your partner truly loves you, he or she will never make you feel pitiful. He or she will never bring down your self-esteem.
Stunting Individual growth
In a short-lived relationship, people become obsessed with the other person that they neglect everything about themselves. Their whole world revolves around them. A relationship is meant to expand your horizons rather than restrain your potential to grow.
I understand. Love is such a powerful emotion that it makes all the other things feel small. However, in the long run, you have to keep the spark inside you lit. The only way you can do that is to grow individually and discover new things in life. If you do not, you’ll get bored and blame love or relationships for wasting your potential. You should not hold love culpable for these things. A relationship should never hold you back from doing the things that you always dreamt of doing. On the contrary, a relationship is meant to help you achieve your aims and goals.
Invasion of personal space
Whenever you are in a relationship, it’s all fun and games in the beginning. You all want to go together to some party or the bar and enjoy the evening. You are enjoying each other’s company and there is an overstimulation of hormones in those moments.
There is nothing wrong with that. However, when it comes to long-term relationships, everyone needs their personal space. In the beginning, both of you expect that your partner will do everything with you and after some months, if your partner plans something without you, you are let down.
Don’t feel disappointed with that. There will come days when your partner just wants to be alone or wants to hang out with some friends. It doesn’t mean your partner has stopped loving you. This will benefit you. Sometimes away from you will draw your partner towards you more in the long. Trust me.
Lack of emotional intimacy with time
In every relationship, there is a decline in emotional intimacy with time. It’s because people mistake physical intimacy for sexual intimacy. The sex is only great when the love between is you strong. Otherwise, it will just become routine sexuality.
There are many ways of retaining that preliminary intimacy between you and your partner. You should date even when you’re fifty, kiss a little longer. We should look into each other’s eyes a little longer and try to figure out the story they are telling. In the words of Al Pacino as Scarface,
The eyes, chico, they never lie.
Go to adventures together and experience life as a couple.
Making our partners do stuff in the name of love or trying to change them
Love is spellbinding. When you are in love, you are ready to go to great lengths to do anything for your partner. When your partner tells you to quit smoking, you try your best.
However, you should always remember that love is an unconditional emotion and you shouldn’t hope that your partner will become a saint in the imminent future. Some traits are so permanently inscribed in some people’s personalities that it makes them who they are. If you can’t accept a person for who they are, there is no reason to commit to them.
You can expect your partner to love you endlessly but never to change themselves in the name of love. If they want to change something about themselves, they will do so with their consent.